Aquarian Bachelor

If you've been living under a stone and haven't been made privy to the media blizzard that follows these things, you probably haven't heard that Aquarian Jake Pavelka, born January 27, is the newest reality star of The Bachelor.

Put aside your natural disdain for reality-show contestants and just focus on the dude behind the spray tan and the Dudley Do-Right smile. Pavelka shows all the public signs of a typical Aquarius: he's talkative, charming, respectful, and not so surprisingly in aviation. At 31, he's a commercial airline pilot and has been for nine years. Already he wins points in my book for having a kick-ass job that I'm drooling with jealousy over.

It's true that he's a Christian conservative, which isn't exactly the marker of a typical Aquarius, but unlike his fellow Christian conservatives (see Palin, Beck, Chaney, Reagan, et al), he doesn't seem out to beat anyone over the head with his beliefs (or perhaps the producers just don't highlight this aspect), he's from Dallas (these traits seem to be prerequisites of most Dallas natives), and he seems like a pretty decent guy--give or take a little expected plasticity in his "Mr. Perfect" media persona. (Take a look at that photo, though, is there not a little snarl forming around the edges of that smile? It's subtle but from one Aquarius to another, I think he knows how cheesy that shot was).

So it's surprising to see the level of venom being lobbed at Pavelka. The choicest insults label him bland, fake, and unmanly (Because there's something so unmanly about a pilot in charge of millions of peoples' lives, I'm guessing! Damn you Sully Sullenberger!), with the general consensus being that he's a manipulative sap. As a fellow Aquarian, and as a truly sappy one, as well, (deep breath: it's a reality show, people! Unbunch your panties!) I have to admit reading the insults stung and made me a little verklempt.

I'm sure every Aquarius out there has been called one or more of these things. I'll wager that I've been called each one of these at least once, sometimes more, particularly by signs that I'll politely deem a little more "self-regarding." Fake? Check. I sincerely believe in being respectful and decent to people, no matter my wants, mood, or needs. I also value the idea of karma, and "act" accordingly. Oddly enough, when I'm being most "true" or "real" is when this is often lobbed my way. Unmanly/Unwomanly? I think every Aquarius that I know has been picked on for this. It generally happens because we refuse to follow the herd-mentality of stereotypes. (For Pavelka, this insult was lobbed when he broke down in tears on-camera. Because, you know, crying is for sissies--said the emotionally damaged men who left their equally emotionally damaged children behind).

But I think the thing that riled me most about this was the insult that Pavelka was bland. There's nothing bland about a pilot. There's nothing bland about a guy who likes to build things in his spare time. And there's nothing bland about a guy who likes adventure. When I hear bland, I think what they really mean is this: like most Aquarians, I do not go out of my way to "act out."

When people say this, I also think that they mean glamor, in the sense of inspiring those high emotions in other. It's true that Aquarius is one of the least glamorous star signs out there. They can inspire creativity and artistic expression in others, but it's generally of the more organic, message-driven sort. They are not nearly as dramatic or invested in any one form of expression as, say, Scorpio, Leo, and Aries. So, often they are accused of being bland or--with the same snide breath--accused of putting on an act because they're not being as blatantly selfish.

What I see in Pavelka is a disciplined Aquarius (the undisciplined Aquarians are a different story) who has worked very hard to be as decent as he can be and one who is perhaps very aware that he's representing the larger ideal of a decent guy. He may be boring, but he's not bland. A little too safe, maybe. A tad bit media whorish, yes. And a little too white middle American, possibly. But this is a "reality" show, isn't it?

For recaps of the latest episodes (meaning you don't have to watch it!), check out Chris Harrison's blog at EW.